What a ride!

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

So much has happened in just a few short months … In June, I got married, in July I was in a car accident … the question is – what does August hold for me?

During the process of getting married, I learned a lot of things. There are things that I knew already – like there are people that are inpatient. This is my first marriage as well as Dan’s first. So, we knew we wanted to make our relationship permanent. That meant getting legally married. The young lady at the courthouse seemed a little irritated that we were not familiar with the proceedings … sucks for her. ROFL – long story short, we are now LEGALLY married. There are some people out there that would argue that I we aren’t – and I say to them – ok, if you say so. My marriage license says otherwise.

On July 26, Dan and I had a pretty busy morning/afternoon … we went to the dealership to get maintenance done on my car (a little overdue). It was no big deal because there was a car show going on, so that kept Dan occupied. Anyway, by 130p my car was ready … man – o – man she was riding smooth – I should have had the work done earlier. He and I headed out afterwards to have brunch. Our meal was decent and then we headed home just to chill for a bit.

We headed out again to head over to the church for 5p mass. Mass was what it usually was for us – refreshing. After mass was done we were feeling pretty good and started our journey back home …

What I remember is: MercyMe singing “The Change Inside of Me” … then I said to Dan, “Oh God. Dan … he isn’t stopping.”

My car was hit on the driver’s side.

We were shoved off of 17/92 onto an abandoned home’s lawn. The bushes and tree branches helped my car to stop.

I was HYSTERICAL.

Dan helped calm me down. He called my parents. And a passerby called the police.

Thank God – we were not hurt.

Right now we are waiting. It sounds like my car is fine. They tell me I should have it back by Tuesday …

Desire, ask, believe, receive.
Stella Terrill Mann

Just a thought

My arms are open wide
Waiting to embrace you
Waiting to hold you
Never to let you go

Your smile brightens my day
Your voice causes me to have butterflies
Your touch gives me goose bumps

There are times that I wonder if the feeling is mutual
Then you do something out of the ordinary

Always surprising me

LOVE and LAUGHS

Random Thoughts Part 2
LOVE and LAUGHS

There are many times that I sit back and wish I could go back in time …

• $5 brought me a hero, bag of chips and a 50 cent soda. Still had some change for candy later on.
• Walking to Hempstead for Chicken wings and French Fries
• Sitting on the front stoop just chilling with friends
• Watching the guys play B-Ball in the Cherry’s yard
• Waking up at the crack of dawn during the summer just to go over a friend’s house to watch TV and fall asleep
• Being happy doing nothing – ROFL

But there are times of recent that I can’t take away that bring a smile to my face

• Meeting Dan for the 1st time
• Realizing that Dan is the Man – ROFL
• Stowe, VT – the wildest ride from the train station to the Bed & Breakfast
• Easter Vigil 2006
• The most romantic Valentine’s Day EVER – I was so excited I forgot to say YES

So now I am at the point were I am looking forward to making new memories … My plans to have a “traditional” wedding is just that, a way for me and my fiancé to make new memories that include both of our friends and families – lots of LOVE and LAUGHS.

Random Thoughts

Some things aren't always what they may seem like so it is best to take bites of life with a grain a salt to get the full flavor
(yenhpad 05/25/09)

In the past few weeks I am really learning more and more about myself and the world around me. I have known for a long time that if you DO NOT have anything nice to say it is best to keep it to yourself. As of recent, I have come to accept that not everyone has had that same lesson. *sigh*

I just found out that I am a disappointment. LOL – sorry that I didn’t stick to your timeline and plans – OH YEA: you didn’t have a timeline or plans for me. It all came to a point where I pretty much had to figure it all out for myself – I am still trying to understand my path – all in all I know that God doesn’t give me anything that I cannot handle.

There are imitation manuals but if God blesses me with a child (or two) I pray that my common sense sticks around.

I pray that when I do become Mrs. Dan that I will be a good wife – I would say great but I think that is pushing it – lol.

16 days and counting!!!

Everything has its Time

I am so scared but I am trying to keep it under wraps. I have always been the “strong” one and now I here I am. I hate not knowing. I also hate the anticipation of waiting for information.

For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born,
and a time to die;
a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill,
and a time to heal;
a time to break down,
and a time to build up;
a time to weep,
and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn,
and a time to dance;
a time to throw away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek,
and a time to lose;
a time to keep,
and a time to throw away;
a time to tear,
and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence,
and a time to speak;
a time to love,
and a time to hate;
a time for war,
and a time for peace.
So I decided that there are a few things that I want to accomplish this year . . .

1. I want to become a healthier Daphney
2. I want to finish getting my degree
3. I just want to find my happy place

Diagnostic testing is a bit scary. Who the hell came up with that bright idea? Uterine Biopsy to be exact – DON’T BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY SAY JUST TAKE 2 MOTRINS!!!

Understanding and knowing when to leave it alone

This is a time when I am not sure when to leave it and when to attack it. I am scared. The idea of not knowing is what is freaking me out. I have come to accept that my “business” will be available for viewing but that chunk of time that I will be missing … that is scary.

I am thinking positive. It will be ok. At least that is what everyone keeps telling me.

Inked

On Saturday, March 21st I decided to go ahead and do something I have always wanted to do – I got a TATTOO.

ROFLMFAO

When I first got there (Cast Iron Tattoos, 2818 S Orange Ave Orlando, FL 32806S), I was having a lot of reservations. But my friend Trena kept it real and calm for me. I had been talking about it for a while. I had the sketch for the tattoo for over a year!

We went into the shop, where John came and was oh so helpful. I had some back up sketches just in case but I knew that the Sacred/Immaculate Heart was the one that I wanted. He looked at both and told me that I could get the SIH no problem. The artist on had drew it the size I wanted and that began my journey to getting “inked”.
Trena went first cause her tat was supposedly simpler and wouldn’t take much time to complete. Apparently it was. Next thing I knew it was almost my turn. Thankfully the lady that was there before us finally made up her mind so she gave me a pass – hahaha – basically a chance to really get myself together.

Anyway, long story short. I got the tattoo. When he (Danny) started I was more anxious than scared. As soon as he started – I followed my boyfriend’s advice – I found my happy place. Where was my happy place? In the land of sleep is where I traveled to. Imagine that? I fell asleep! Goodness, I am an oddball.

As I was leaving Cast Iron Tattoo, Danny waved goodbye and said see you soon! I was like I don’t think so – but he reassured me that I would be back.

Damn – I am still trying to get over getting the one I got!

MIDDLE

I am currently listening to Jill Scott’s Golden. That song I must say fill me to the brim and makes the smile that is buried deep come to surface.

Today is one of those days that I really enjoy. I am in the MIDDLE. I am neither happy nor sad. I woke up at about 10am and got my day started. I headed over to the church for the disposition of ashes (it is Ash Wednesday – FYI). Anyway, I got to the church and things are going alright. Even now my day is ending on a positive note. I am in the MIDDLE. I sure wish all my days were like today.

I am not your typical Catholic. I am not the Christian that changes into someone different when Sunday comes. I am ME each and everyday of the year. I try to do what is right. I am no leader and I am no follower. I like to eat good food, listen to good music, and shake my butt on the dance floor, pretending that I am the hottest woman in the room.

Tests come in all shapes and forms. Whether it is the person that cut you off on I-4 or the person that seems like they don’t want to take your order in what used to be your favorite restaurant. The kids cry and whine ALL DAY. Your parents say whatever comes to mind because they don’t believe in biting their tongues. Your boss obviously believes you are an idiot.

Lent to me means to learn how take each and every event that comes at you with a grain of salt. There are lessons to be learned and prizes to be earned.

Life is a puzzle

"Life is a puzzle. Sometimes it makes us laugh. Sometimes it makes us cry."

For a few years now I have been trying to figure out what I am supposed to be doing and where I am suppose to be. Frankly I am not sure if the answer has been presented to me and maybe I just didn’t see it. Or maybe I want the answer to just present itself so I can just move along and get it all going.

Yea right, what will I really do when I get that answer? Am I going to go full fledged into it and make sure my dream becomes a reality? Or will I do what I always do and cower in a corner complaining that it is all too hard for me to handle?

Obviously, I have been allowing life to pass me by.

My nephew is 3 and my niece is 5. Their innocence is amazing and that is something that I miss most about my youth. I was not exposed the harsh realities of life – at least it wasn’t placed on a platter in my face.

There are days that I just that I want to give up trying to do anything and everything. I don’t want to get out of bed; I have no appetite; life just is just kicking me in the ass.

I hate my job – at least truly, I just hate being on the bottom. I hate the fact that I am SCARED to make that move to better myself. I am frightened of failure. I am over the “disappointing my parents” thing. I already know that my parents feel that I am just mooching off of them and that I am wasting my life right now. No real encouragement there. What is on my mind is, how do I overcome this feeling of rejection? I am not quite sure how to accomplish that one.

These are a few things that I once wanted to do but was too afraid to pursue:

1. Pediatric Nurse/Pediatrician – I love to be around children
2. Anything in music – I love to sing, always wanted to learn to read, write and compose music
3. Architectural design – technical design was my favorite class in HS
4. Business management – I had the hopes of one day owning my own business
5. Teacher (Mathematician) – my mother totally knocked that out of the box cause she said teachers didn’t make enough money …
6. At one point I majored in English – I wanted to teach or possibly go into journalism
7. Plus-sized modeling – I have a pretty face and I am plus sized – then I found out I was too FAT to be a PLUS SIZED model – (go figure)
8. Computer Engineer – I realized that wasn’t something I could truly dedicate myself doing
9. Social worker – I like helping people, but I was easily discouraged. The argument was that working as a social worker wasn’t worth the time or energy.
10. Personal Assistant – This is actually something new to the list. I am good at problem solving and simply getting things done. I have great organizational skills. I am just not very good at putting myself out there to be SEEN and recognized as someone you NEED.

Okay, so here I am. I am beginning to understand that life is what I make it. I cannot blame the people in my past present or future for the decisions that I have made, am making or will make.

2009 will be an interesting year because this is definitely the year of change.