"You bluffed me! I don't like it when people bluff me. It makes me question my perception of reality."
Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Cicely, 1992
These are the times that I cherish the most. I guess the meds are really working. The past few months I have been on edge. So much so that I have had the feeling that maybe I should just pick up and leave – just with the clothes on my back and just start walking. I have no destination in mind. I just want to get away from everything that annoys the crap out of me.
I know the typical sayings: “You aren’t the only one” or “There are worse things out there”. Well in my mind and in my world, there are things that push me to the edge. I would go into detail but I assure you or rather, I assure myself, I am working on getting over it.
Since I turned 30 this year, I have had more people ask me my age than I can imagine! Amazing. It’s okay though because most of the time they tend to figure me to be way younger – I definitely appreciate the compliments!
At work, my newest manager (I honestly think she is on the 2 year plan) came up with the fantabulous suggestion that along with our self evaluations that we need to list our 3 personal goals for the New Year. In this instance I surprised myself and I refrained from being sarcastic – however in my case I have been told that it is all in my DELIVERY – so that just means that everything that comes out my mouth will be scrutinized and essentially be seen as me being a smart ass. Anyway here are my (top) 3 personal goals for 2009:
1. Enroll in school to finish getting a degree so I can get the hell out of Dodge
2. Focus on having a more healthy lifestyle (I am not looking to be a size 2 but I am tired of being a size 20)
3. Become financially independent (Living with Mother is proving to be more difficult)
I figured that these goals are more realistic and tangible than the whole getting married and having children dreams that I once fantasized about. In truth I pray that those two will happen but if not I guess I am prepared to become the auntie with all the cats and no husband. (I just made myself laugh).
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
OBAMA!!!
This post is late too:
November 5th, 2008
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided; Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
November 4th was Election Day but the wonder of it all was felt on November 5th. My niece and nephew can now truly know that they can do anything they put their mind to. My parents were not subjected to separate but equal however I have met a few of those people and read a few of those books. I never would’ve thought in my lifetime I would witness this monumental change. Yes he used the word change A LOT however it is that word that needed to come alive. Now that we have breathed life into it, we must keep it alive. We need to nurture it, feed it make sure that CHANGE is kept safe.
I woke up this morning feeling that I can do something with my life. I felt that I can do the impossible. Now it is up to me to take the first step to make those impossibilities possible.
November 5th, 2008
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided; Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
November 4th was Election Day but the wonder of it all was felt on November 5th. My niece and nephew can now truly know that they can do anything they put their mind to. My parents were not subjected to separate but equal however I have met a few of those people and read a few of those books. I never would’ve thought in my lifetime I would witness this monumental change. Yes he used the word change A LOT however it is that word that needed to come alive. Now that we have breathed life into it, we must keep it alive. We need to nurture it, feed it make sure that CHANGE is kept safe.
I woke up this morning feeling that I can do something with my life. I felt that I can do the impossible. Now it is up to me to take the first step to make those impossibilities possible.
My Own Advice
This is an entry I should’ve made but never really got around to:
November 1st 2008
What some people would call paradise I call simply living. In truth most people would call it just that. I've found myself visiting the Lakefront. I sit here listening and smelling the salty water. It is quite calming. This is definitely something I can get use to. I wish though that when I returned home it was into my own home (or even an apartment if you prefer). I wish when I got there all of my dreams were real ... warmth, husband, child(ren) ... however that isn't what is written for me as of yet. I know God has a plan. Me being human, I get impatient. He being God - tells me to chill out, be still, I got you ...
I need to follow my own advice and pray when I get discouraged. It’s hard though. I pride myself in not caring about what people think - especially those that aren't a part of my immediate family. I can't seem to talk to anyone though. And honestly with all that is going on in the world, I can understand why they don't want to bother.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? ***Scott Adams, US cartoonist (1957 - )***
November 1st 2008
What some people would call paradise I call simply living. In truth most people would call it just that. I've found myself visiting the Lakefront. I sit here listening and smelling the salty water. It is quite calming. This is definitely something I can get use to. I wish though that when I returned home it was into my own home (or even an apartment if you prefer). I wish when I got there all of my dreams were real ... warmth, husband, child(ren) ... however that isn't what is written for me as of yet. I know God has a plan. Me being human, I get impatient. He being God - tells me to chill out, be still, I got you ...
I need to follow my own advice and pray when I get discouraged. It’s hard though. I pride myself in not caring about what people think - especially those that aren't a part of my immediate family. I can't seem to talk to anyone though. And honestly with all that is going on in the world, I can understand why they don't want to bother.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? ***Scott Adams, US cartoonist (1957 - )***
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